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The Devil went down to Jerusalemby michael • September 26 2008
Activist courts are the Devil's playground
Imagine, if you will, that you are Satan. Yes, Satan, that vaguely defined celestial entity who serves as the prosecuting attorney of the heavenly court (for Jews), the handy solution to the theological quandary raised by the existence of evil in the world (for Christians), and the deity of choice when sacrificing household pets (for disaffected teenagers). If you need help getting into character, try the music of Norwegian teenybop sensations Gorgoroth.
Okay. You Satan? Good. Now remember, as the Lord of the Flies, the very embodiment of all that is profaned and corrupt in God's creation, it's your fondest dream (in certain eschatologies, anyway) to bend mankind to your twisted will and rule the world in the name of evil. How would you go about achieving that goal? Lies? Temptation? Deceit? Black Sabbath? Or would you be more subtle? Would you lay the groundwork for your triumphant ascent in the very brickwork of the State of Israel's highest court?
It actually makes a lot of sense. For example, if you subtract the Hebrew numerical value of the name "Rothschild" (559) from the Hebrew numerical value of "Supreme Court Building" (2359), you get exactly 1800, which, if you look at it as a standard Gregorian year, is only two years after the establishment of the England branch of the Rothschild banking dynasty in 1798. We shouldn't have to tell you the significance of the number two.
And did you know that, if you draw an arbitrary line from the Supreme Court building to the Knesset building, both the Supreme Court building and the Knesset building are on that line? And if you draw another arbitrary line from that first one at exactly the right angle and direction, it goes right down Ben Yehuda Street? Pretty crazy, right? It turns out this is called a Ley Line, which is sort of a Highway to Hell:
Does the Ministry of Tourism know Jerusalem is on a Ley Line? Can we court Wiccan tourists this way? "Jerusalem: It's a Magickal Place." "Jerusalem: Make Your Mother Happy and Meet a Nice Jewitch Girl."
But anyway. Sure, there are a lot of crazies on Ben Yehuda, but there's a lot of good falafel too. We're not pointing fingers, but has anyone noticed that the handsome young man at Moshiko who does falafel tricks is prominently branded about the forehead with the mark of the beast? Everybody talks about the Devil's works and pomps, but nobody ever mentions the wanton, cumin-scented crispiness of his deep-fried sin fritters. All part of his plan, no doubt.
So by now you're probably convinced. Satanic happenings are afoot in the Holy City. But oddly, the brave (and probably now-assassinated) soul who compiled the Supreme Court report never mentioned the Jerusalem landmark which truly reveals, beyond the shadow of a doubt, the icy hand of Satan in our fair city...
Image courtesy of tevnin from Flickr under a Creative Commons license.
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